Blog 11 and 12

I guess this week my blog hits a little more at home for me. I feel like using this like my diary. I have some feelings to share about feminist issues and I figured, who better to share them with than my women's studies class.

Like I have said previously, I am a stay at home mother. I have four of my own children and I babysit for my nephew and another little girl. I love being at home! I feel like home is where I belong. I like raising my children. I like knowing that they are taken care of by the one person that loves them the most in the world. I am here to make sure that my son gets to and from school safely. I am here to make sure my little ones get the naps that their bodies so desperately need. That is only a small part of what I do as a stay at home mom.

I feel like I sound like a big baby! Since I am the one home all day, I do all the housework. Laundry, dishes, sweeping, garbage, etc. I feel like I should because I am at home. I do not mind these things. I am happy doing them. I am happy making sure that my families needs are met.

Sure I complain sometimes. Everybody does. No one is happy all the time. Without naming names, I will get to my point. I am tired of being told that my job is so easy. I am tired of being treated as if I am not equal because I do not make money outside the home. I know that I do not get a paycheck. I feel badly sometimes. I do feel that being at home is equally as important as having a job that earns a paycheck. I feel like what I do is very important. It may not be as physically demanding as a different type of job, but it is emotionally demanding. I get worn down as much as the next person. With the cost of daycare, being at home seems like a better choice.

Tonight I feel sad. I am tired because my family of six has been very sick for three weeks! I am not really motivated because I am sick of feeling like I do not do enough in some people's eyes. I am confused! I want to feel happy in my decision to stay home. It is hard to feel that way when some put down how important I feel that my job is. It is hard to feel that way when I am treated badly because I do not put a check in the bank every Friday. How do I decide what to do? I feel like I need to be at home. Atleast until I get my kids into school. They need me here. Unfortunately that makes things financially harder! I know that I am not the only person to feel like this. I only wish that the world appreciated stay at home mothers more. I for one appreciate those who work outside the home so that women like me can stay in the home. Hopefully life quits throwing curveballs.

I am glad to have a safe place to write my feelings. It is nice to be in a woman's studies class. There is no one better to talk to about this! Thank you all!!!

Blog 10

This weeks readings really bothered me. It was all about violence. Sexual assault, rape, etc. All of the information was scarey, but the fact that scared me the most was that most violence against woman happens at home. This has somehow got to change. We, as a parents, spend 18 years of our childrens lives raising them in their home. Our home. We, as parents, make them feel safe there. we tell our chindren that home is where mommy and daddy will always make sure that they are taken care of and where they will always be safe. We eat, drink, and sleep while thinking about our children. I still remember that when I was sad I would go home. Home, where my family was waiting. I never grew up fearing my home. It was and still is my safe place. It saddens me to know that one day, my children's safe place might be taken away from them because of violence. Violence that comes from someone that one of my children has chosen to trust. This is wrong. Home should always be a safe place. I can see being scared to be in a dark alley at midnight by yourself. Laying in your bed, in your room, in your house should not be the least bit scarey. If we can't trust the one that we choose to share our lives with, then who can we trust? This is just one more reason for me to stay strong. I will continue to teach my boys to be men! I will continue to teach my girls to be safe in who to give their hearts to. I will continue watching real close to make sure that I am there so that nothing bad like this happens to my boys or my girls.