Blog 11 and 12

I guess this week my blog hits a little more at home for me. I feel like using this like my diary. I have some feelings to share about feminist issues and I figured, who better to share them with than my women's studies class.

Like I have said previously, I am a stay at home mother. I have four of my own children and I babysit for my nephew and another little girl. I love being at home! I feel like home is where I belong. I like raising my children. I like knowing that they are taken care of by the one person that loves them the most in the world. I am here to make sure that my son gets to and from school safely. I am here to make sure my little ones get the naps that their bodies so desperately need. That is only a small part of what I do as a stay at home mom.

I feel like I sound like a big baby! Since I am the one home all day, I do all the housework. Laundry, dishes, sweeping, garbage, etc. I feel like I should because I am at home. I do not mind these things. I am happy doing them. I am happy making sure that my families needs are met.

Sure I complain sometimes. Everybody does. No one is happy all the time. Without naming names, I will get to my point. I am tired of being told that my job is so easy. I am tired of being treated as if I am not equal because I do not make money outside the home. I know that I do not get a paycheck. I feel badly sometimes. I do feel that being at home is equally as important as having a job that earns a paycheck. I feel like what I do is very important. It may not be as physically demanding as a different type of job, but it is emotionally demanding. I get worn down as much as the next person. With the cost of daycare, being at home seems like a better choice.

Tonight I feel sad. I am tired because my family of six has been very sick for three weeks! I am not really motivated because I am sick of feeling like I do not do enough in some people's eyes. I am confused! I want to feel happy in my decision to stay home. It is hard to feel that way when some put down how important I feel that my job is. It is hard to feel that way when I am treated badly because I do not put a check in the bank every Friday. How do I decide what to do? I feel like I need to be at home. Atleast until I get my kids into school. They need me here. Unfortunately that makes things financially harder! I know that I am not the only person to feel like this. I only wish that the world appreciated stay at home mothers more. I for one appreciate those who work outside the home so that women like me can stay in the home. Hopefully life quits throwing curveballs.

I am glad to have a safe place to write my feelings. It is nice to be in a woman's studies class. There is no one better to talk to about this! Thank you all!!!